I'm Almost Glad I Hit Her
by DanosaurForLife
Summary: Dan's girlfriend breaks up with him after he hits her, and who will be there to help him figure out what's going wrong? God I'm crap at summaries! Very brief danisnotonfire OC (except not really because Dan wouldn't hurt a fly), and then Phan! Rated M for brief mentions of abuse, self harm, swearing, and eventual smut. DISCLAIMER: 1000% FICTION THIS WOULD NEVER HAPPEN IRL
1. Chapter 1

**Hello there! Author here! So, with this I'm trying out a little bit of dan oc (except not really because there is no freaking way dan would do something like this in real life), but don't worry, it will get to Phan very soon (maybe even by the end of chapter 1?) And the title is really morbid I know but seriously this story will 100% have a happy ending because I cannot read (let alone write) phanfictions that are insanely sad. I have more of it written and planned in my head so it'll be updated very soon! So...I hope you enjoy! I appreciate nice reviews, and constructive criticism, just nothing too mean please!**

**VALERIE'S POV**

This wasn't the first time something like this had happened. But, this time, there was no chance it was an accident.

I had been dating Dan for the past 4 months. At first, he seemed like the perfect boyfriend. He was always so romantic and sweet. But one night, he got really drunk at a party. We got in a small argument, and he shoved me. I fell and hit my head. But I played it off, thinking it was just the alcohol that made him do it. He apologized over and over, and promised it would never happen again. "Not in a million years," had been his exact words.

It took two weeks. He'd been having a really bad day, and came over to my flat to drink. He had already taken a few swings of vodka, and I guess that's all it took. That time he slapped me. And when he apologized, he cried. He said I had no idea how sorry he was, and begged me not to end things. "I love you, and need you in my life," had been his exact words. I stayed with him. Everyone makes mistakes, right?

But this time, he didn't have the excuse of alcohol. He had just gotten into a huge fight with his friend Chris, and was really mad. I showed up at his flat to surprise him, having gotten off work early. His flatmate Phil wasn't there, and when I came in (I had a key), he was just pacing the empty apartment. The smile I had been wearing slowly faded from my face when I saw the look in his eyes. It was the same look he had the time he slapped me. I took a cautious step into the apartment, and asked what was wrong. He explained the fight he'd just had. I asked if he thought he could have avoided it, and he laughed. "Yes, I'm sure you're the expert on when not to fight with people! You're just so perfect Valerie, I bet you neeeeever fight!" I shook my head, about to explain that I hadn't meant that, when something hit the side of my face. Hard. I was so shocked, I didn't know what to do. My loving, romantic boyfriend had just punched me in the face. I stood there, shaking, for a few seconds. Then the pain hit. A sob escaped my lips, and I ran from his flat, hearing his shouted apologies all the way. I ran and I ran and I didn't stop until I was home. This time, I needed to break up with him.

I called Dan the next day and ended it, too afraid to face him in person. He cried, saying it would never, ever, ever happen again. He said he loved me more than life itself, and if I ended it he didn't know what he'd do. I said goodbye and hung up. We were over. And I was, strangely, relieved.

**DAN'S POV**

I was crying on the couch when Phil walked in, a razor blade in my hand. I had it positioned over my left wrist, having already sliced the other. He ran to my side, grabbing the blade from my hand. "Dan, what's wrong?" he cried. I just shook my head, sobbing even harder. Phil sat next to me on the couch and I buried my face in his neck. "Valerie ended things," I managed to get out between sobs. I felt Phil shift positions next to me. He lifted my chin with his finger, so that I was looking at him. Without saying a word, he kissed me. I was beyond shock. I pushed him away, maybe a bit harder than necessary. "What the fuck was that?!" I yelled, my tears completely gone.

Phil just laughed, "You're not crying anymore, are you!" It took me a minute to realize what he just said, and when I did, I couldn't control the laughter that burst from me. He laughed too, and eventually we were both practically rolling on the ground.

"Well, I'll be remembering that strategy next time someone's crying!" I said, once we finally stopped laughing.

Phil smiled, "Just go for the shock value, it works every time!"

I laughed, but a little less enthusiastically this time. The only thing I could think about was that Phil had just kissed me, and I had enjoyed it.


	2. Chapter 2

**DAN'S P.O.V**

"Hey Phil, could you come in here?" I called from my room. It had been two weeks since the day Valerie had broken up with me. Two weeks since I had kissed Phil. And it was still all I ever thought about. His lips had been so soft, so gentle against mine. It had felt so...right. But, I was straight! I had never liked a guy in my entire life!

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard Phil knock on the open door. I looked up, and met his gorgeous blue eyes. _I need to stop thinking like this! I'm not gay! Maybe bisexual… but I've never liked another guy! Maybe it's just Phil… maybe I was just lonely, and sad, and Phil had been there at the right time_. Now that I thought about it, Phil was always there at the right time. I could always count on him. I think I loved him.

The realization hit me like a truck. I loved Phil. That's why I had been so unhappy in my last relationship. That's why I hit Valerie. I was unhappy, because I knew deep down that I didn't want to be with her. I wanted to be with…

"Phil! Hey!" I called, remembering that he was standing at the door.

"What's up?" he asked, walking over to sit next to me on my bed. Why had I originally called him in here? I couldn't remember. Suddenly all I could think about was how much I wanted to kiss Phil again. But I couldn't just kiss him…..what if he rejected me?

An idea popped into my head, and I acted on it. "Let's make another Truth or Dare video!" I cried, a bit too loudly now that he was sitting right next to me.

He smiled, "Alright! I'll send out a tweet asking for questions."

"No, I'll do it! You go get your camera. I'll probably be ready when you get back." Phil nodded, gave me a weird look, and walked out of the room. I was probably acting strange. Why wouldn't we just use my camera? Oh well. I was going to kiss Phil if it killed me.

"Hey guys! Me and Phil are filming another Truth or Dare video! You know what to do!" I hit tweet, and waited. 20 seconds later I already had what I was looking for.

"Kiss Phil hahaha xD" I rolled my eyes. I knew I could count on the Phan shippers to help me out.

Phil walked back into the room a few minutes later, and set up the camera. "Got everything you need?" he asked once he finished. I nodded, and he hit record.

"Hey guys! It's time for another truth or dare video! You've been begging for it for ages, and it's finally here! But I couldn't _really_ make a truth or dare video without…" I gestured towards Phil, and he jumped into the shot.

"RAWR!" he roared, clawing the air with his hands. Then he came and sat down next to me on my bed. "Hi guys!"

"Alright, let's get started!" I scrolled through my interactions, trying to find a good one for Phil. I needed to work my way up to what I really wanted to happen. "Okay this one's a truth for you. Someone asks: would you rather have sex with me or claw out your own eyes?"

Phil laughed, his tongue poking out of the side of his mouth. But he still looked slightly uncomfortable with the question. I laughed at the expression on his face. His eyes were wide, his mouth frozen half smile as he contemplated his options. "Well could I wait until I had sharper nails?" Phil asked. I laughed, and shook my head.

"No, you'd have to do it RIGHT NOW!"

"Well, I'm not gonna claw out my eyes!" Phil cried. I laughed. It was a reasonable answer. I just hoped that the person who asked it was 12.

"Okay, next one." This went on for some time. We answered a lot of truths, and did a bunch of simple dares, planning on only putting a few in the video but having too much fun to stop. After about 30 minutes, I finally plucked up the courage to do what I had started this to do.

"Okay, dare. Are you ready?" I asked Phil. He nodded, and serious look on his face.

I took a deep breath. "Dan, I dare you to kiss Phil."

Phil's eyes widened. He looked at me, shocked that I would even pay attention to that one.

"Are you actually going to?" Phil asked.

"Well, why not? It's just a kiss!" I stated, but I felt otherwise. My palms were starting to sweat, and there were butterflies the size of small birds in my stomach.

"Yeah, I guess so," Phil agreed. He scooted closer to me, closed his eyes, and puckered his lips. I just looked at him for a few seconds. Without opening his eyes, he said "I'm ready!"

I chuckled, took one last deep breath, and leaned forward, making our mouths collide.

* * *

**Cliff hanger! I'm so sorry it took me so long to update this! I'm going to try so hard not to let it happen again (especially not with an ending like that that'd just be cruel)! I hope you liked it, and as always reviews are appreciated! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**DAN'S P.O.V**

Just like that, I was kissing Phil again.

It started off a bit awkward. We both just sat there, our lips crushed together, not really knowing what to do next. After a few seconds, I cautiously moved my arms from my side and wrapped them around his neck. He seemed to relax under my touch, and put his hands on my waist. I took that as permission to go further. I carefully ran my tongue over his bottom lip, and he opened his mouth wider. Our tongues moved together slowly for a few more seconds. Then something changed. Something clicked inside of me. This was the moment I had been waiting for since the day Valerie broke up with me. I was not going to waste it. If he didn't like it, didn't like me the way I liked him, then this would be the only excuse I'd ever get to kiss him again. I pulled him closer, moving my hands from his neck and twisting them into his hair. He seemed shock, but returned the kiss with just as much passion. I pushed him backwards, so that we were lying on my bed, Phil underneath me.

I broke the kiss, and looked at Phil, to make sure I wasn't going over the line. He just nodded, and pulled my face back to his. I smiled around the kiss, and it was his turn to break away.

"What?" he asked, grinning himself.

"It's just…" I began, then stopped, trying to figure out why exactly I was smiling. "You have no idea how badly I've wanted this to happen."

Phil's smile widened. "I think I might," he whispered before bringing our lips together again.

We made out for a while, since we obviously couldn't put us kissing in the video anyway. We would have a bit more editing to do, but it was worth it. Phil was a fantastic kisser. His lips were soft, and he tasted like mint toothpaste and coffee. Eventually we did break apart, and I rolled off of him.

"Well," Phil said after a minute of us catching our breath, "that was interesting. Maybe we should play truth or dare more often!"

* * *

**Well, I felt bad about the ending of that last chapter, so here's the next one super early! (That's why it's so short, because I just put one up yesterday) Hope you guys like it! :)**


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